I have failed at so many things in life. I’m determined to succeed in writing. I’m sitting here in the dark hours of the night reading my early chapters working to match them to my later chapters. I’m weaving the strings of ideas into better themes. I’m trying to loosen a few so they are not overplayed. I don’t want to control the characters completely. I’m stumbling on happy accidents and leaving them in with great joy.

I’m trying to compose something beautiful. Horror is a form of beauty when it is written to perfection. It is beautiful in the way darkness and shadow can make a painting standout and come alive where all bright colors would fail alone. I want to touch that perfection even if I can only graze against it at this point. Horror can tell a character’s story with sharper relief than other forms of writing that handle their characters with a more loving touch. Horror can flesh out the things we fear and the things in life that torture… us in so much greater catharsis.  How else is one to explore shadows found deep in your child’s brain without the language of shadows found in horror?

I’m tired of living my life in mediocre pursuits. I feel blessed that sixteen years of teaching public school has hardened my spirit enough to face an endless chain of failures and still keep trying when success seems so far over the horizon. I have to succeed at this even if success is so unlikely verging on impossible.

I’m looking at trying to accomplish things that have not been broached by others in my circle of travelers. I’m working now to put these machines in motion over the next couple years beginning now. In that time, whatever fails, whatever doesn’t work, will be replaced by something new until we find what does work.

If you have read this far and you are inclined to give my efforts a bump, you can do so here: http://www.indiegogo.com/JayWilburn

I will not waste any opportunity or gift I am given, but I intend to continue to strive for the beauty in these shadows and words that baffle me so at the moment.